[x]

How to Win an ArgumentEveryone gets into arguments at some point in their life. Electronic communication receptacles are no exception. If anything, one is more -likely- to find that it is easier to become embroiled in an online argument than anything else.

1. CAP THAT If there's one sure-fire way to make a point stronger, it's typing in ALL CAPS. Considering that there are many instances when sound can't travel over the net, one must find the next best available way to be heard. This "next best" way is through "shouting," which just happens to be done online through typing in CAPS. Just like screaming, shouting, and general tantrum-throwing in real life, this met

How to Make An Action GameVideo games. Everyone and their mother plays them these days. Yes, even chicks. This isn't like how it used to be when gaming was a hobby only undertaken by a select number of nerdy white males. With so many other gamers and so many other games to choose from, how can one possibly stand out amongst it all?
By playing action games of course, the manly genre. But maybe playing them isn't enough of a challenge.
Maybe you want to take it a little farther and make an action game yourself.
Well, fear not! For in a number of steps, you too can create the next big blockbuster hardcore action game that will have every other fanboy and their uncl

How to be a True Fan1. Merch Does the object of your obsession have merchandise? Yes? Good. Make it your job to own every available piece of it. If you don't own every piece of available merchandise, you aren't complete. In fact, you won't have a functioning life because there will be a large gaping hole in your chest where that missing merchandise should be. The hole will be so mind-rendingly large that your mother, your best friend, your car, your dog, not even your smoking hot girlfriend will be able to fill. Also, the hole and stinking lumps of meat that surround it will be gradually eaten by the nastiest of flies until you do find something to plug it up wi

How2Make an Animal Antagonist1. I Wouldn't Pet That If you're going to make a "bad guy" animal, make sure the animal itself is either ugly or has some freaky deformities (bonus points if you never explain their origin). Like a sparkledog accessorized with glitter and neon ribbons, this particular creature is better off being seen with at least one irisless eye, a notched ear, or a jagged scar decorating some point of its face.
Additionally, the coloration of this particular "bad guy" should always be something dark. Because the coloration of an animal is a clear indication of its character which, in this case, should be inexplicably soulless. Have you ever heard the sa

How to Make a VampireVampire lore spans many, many years back into the past and they still remain popular today as one of the most recognized and exalted horror icons in the monster world of fiction. Yet despite having many different variations the world over, some parts have either been watered down or completely written out for today's modern audience. Maybe you want to share in the stable, ever-growing fangirl or fanboy-powered market of vampire literature? Well, look no further. Here are some tips to help get you started:

1. Beauty and the Beast Despite there being years and years of pre-existing exotic vampire folklore from all over the world, it really has

How to Write a Hot RomanceRomance has always been a hot subject in the literary world. It's even gone so far as to permeate other genres such as horror, sci-fi, comedy, etc. But what is it that just makes it so popular? What are some special ingredients one can use to make one's special romance story work juuust right?

1. Chicks First and foremost, all chicks like romance. No exceptions. Every girl secretly wants someone else (ex. a hot male) to cuddle them and hold them and to tell them what to do whisper sweet wordings in her ear while he runs his fingers through her hair. They also want to feel safe and that nothing will hurt them when their big strong man is arou

Every YouTube Fight Ever(This will almost certainly contain heavy profanity and the usernames used in this were pulled out of my own head and aren't any real people that I know of but if someone has usernames matching them then it's probably coincidental).

SamusFan20 in the video description: This is my Metroid compilation of pictures in a slideshow featuring Samus set to Queen's "We Will Rock You." I hope you guys enjoy.

DisgruntledAsswipe87: Jesus Christ you're such a faggot. Why the hell would you post pics of a fictional girl and set it to Queen? Do yourself a favor and go get a REAL GIRLFRIEND, loser. Oh, and stop shaming such a great band with such a shitty

How To Make a Worth It FemaleWarning: Excessive Cursing Ahead

Women have come a long way in society and in real life. This has also been seen reflected in many works of fiction with many different female characters. But female characters just gotta follow certain lines if they just wanna make the cut and play it with the big boys in a big boy world. So here are some tips to make a deep, meaningful, and completely well thought out female character!

1. Face Her face must always be round, cherubic, or child-like. Don't want it too angular or she'll look too old. If it's too long she'll look like a horse. If it's round, it will always have a youthful, pretty look, almost l

How to Make a HorrorHorror: the other white meat. Everyone's watched, read, or played one at some point. Maybe you're just feeling tired of seeing cute fluffy things on TV every goddamn day. It's getting increasingly difficult to find good quality freak-outs in an increasingly sheltered and child-proofed world. Need a break from your daily bombardment of family values and God-fearing overtones? Well, never fear. Here are some quick tips to guide you into becoming the Stephenie Meyer Stephen King.

1. The Kids Every horror has to have children. Because children are usually creepier and far more hellish than your typical ghosts if given the chance. Especially litt

Ode to the Wildernessi knew that evar since i was borned i was a little diffrnt from everybudy else. no one understands what im going through.
it all started when i started having this dream where i dreamt i was in a pack runnin wif otehr wolves and i was da leader. after that, everyfing changed. after that I saw the signs.
like i was rly good with dogs and stuff and all the dogs i meet get along wif me rly well. like my neighbor's poodle likes me more than she likes her owner. and this one tiem my dentist told me dat my teeth were longer than they should be.
if that's not a sign then i dont kno wut is.
i dont get along well wif other people because they mak

Sonic the Hedgehog AnalysisIf there is one figure that constantly rivals the gaming world's Mario, it's Sonic.
He's been running around for more than a few years and it's a wonder he hasn't aged at all. But surely a series as long-running as Sonic is bound to have a few dark secrets of its own, something that makes it more than a game or two where you pick up chao and run around in circles saving baby animals.

Many of you will noticed Sonic has not aged over the past 15 years. This is a representation of eternal youth and his constant running from place to place symbolizes the desire to never grow up and remain forever young. It also represents youth's irresponsibil

Guide to the AneemeiHello. Today we'll be going into the depths of the jungle in search of an exotic and incredibly wild beast in its natural habitat. It is a very curious creature indeed, sometimes it takes great care to make itself the most noticeable thing in plain sight, other times it hides amongst us, camoflaging itself as "one of us." That is, until it is properly baited and/or the creature assumes it is only in the presence of other members of its species, in which it will then throw caution to the wind and commence returning to its true nature.
That of the aneemeifayun.
In general, the aneemeifayun species is largely capable of human speech. However

How to Make an Awesome SeriesWanna know how you can make your original works popular? Want people to salivate over every other thing you push out, regardless of how seemingly outlandish or silly? In a few easy steps, you, too, can have every fanboy and girl from North America to Japan licking the festering shit that spews forth from your anus delicious golden fame that drips from your very fingers.

1. No Adult Main Characters The key to a successful series is to never have the main character be a day over 17 years of age. It makes it more accessible to a more general audience and thus gives it more popularity through a wider fan base. Only young people in the prime of l

How to Be The Perfect FanFans. They're one of the biggest driving life forces behind media today. In fact, without them, your works probably wouldn't get anywhere. You'd probably be stuck somewhere in a crappy one-room apartment living on ramen as a hack writer or lonely college kid spending all his free time making hentai games. However, in this world, people have the potential to simultaneously both have fans and be fans. Chances are, while you may not get a sizable fanbase in this lifetime, you can sure as hell learn to be one helluva fan yourself. So here are some guidelines and tips to get you started on being the perfect fan.

1. Love Do you love your fandom? G

The Greatest Game Ever PlayedAlright, alright. Lemme introduce myself. I'm a gamer, plain and simple. I mash buttons and stare deeply into a screen that transports my brain to another world for several hours as I sit on my ass and munch doritos. (Fuck yeah, brain food). If you know me, which I'm assuming most of you reading this don't, thus the introduction, I've played and still play a fucking ton of vidja games. When people gave me those little applications in high school that asked, "what sport do you play?" I put GameCube. That's right. Why bother kick a frickin' round spotted ball around a field all goddamn day. I proudly kill alien zombies and does not afraid of an

Browse More Like This

Download File
HTML, 6.8 KB more ▶

More from ~In-The-Machine

WheretheWildThingsAre AnalysisMany of you may be familiar with the tale of Where the wild Things Are. You probably read it at some point during your childhood or you most likely saw the 2009 film. To be sure, it's one of the most popular and beloved children's books to date and is still widely read in many households with young people. This popularity has led to many speculations about the book's nature. Some say there's a deeper meaning that belies the playful adventures of a young boy in a wolf suit. Others say it's nothing more than an entertaining and fanciful tale for youth. However, why would an adult write something as seemingly nonsensical as this? Very rarely is

Analyzing the Legend of ZeldaAt some point or another, you've probably heard of the Legend of Zelda. In fact, you've probably played it. However, did you ever notice anything out of the ordinary? Besides fairies, magic, and the usual Nintendo dreamworld? As a small child with a brain only large enough to contemplate rapid button-mashing and that guy's wearin' a green skirt LOL, probably not. You were, after all, a mere child. But the Japanese are known to be a crafty race, as seen from their successful attempt at mind control using the exotic medium commonly known as "manga." Therefore, there was a lot more to the game than met the eye, a lot of which is a much darker th

View Gallery

Featured in Groups:

Not currently featured in any groups.

Details

Submitted: August 13, 2010
File Size: 6.8 KB

Link

Thumb

Statistics

Comments: 533
Favourites: 807 [who?]
Views: 22,006 (5 today)
Downloads: 282 (0 today)

[x]

How to Comment on dA

by ~In-The-Machine, Aug 13, 2010, 7:21:15 PM
Literature / Prose / Non-Fiction / General Non-Fiction / Introductions & Chapters

1. LOL Subjective If you don't like something, even if the person put time, effort, and thought into it, it isn't art. To further assert this truth, be sure to go to the person's deviation and/or main page to tell them that you think their work isn't art because you don't like it.

2. Hydra Stuck in an argument? Feel like you're losing or the other person is making points that are ~~too logical for you to even attempt to debate against~~ just fucking silly to you? Re-jump into the same argument using a double account. Two heads are better than one, right? So two accounts must make your side all the more valid. If you can make an account where no one can guess that it's yours, all the more bonus points for you and your craftiness at hiding yourself on the internet. If you're -that- clever online, you must surely be a master ninja in real life. Additionally, telling the person the same thing using a different account name ensures that they see your side of things more clearly.
It's like what they taught you in school: repetition, repetition, repetition.

3. He Said, She Said Know what else is valid? Saying something like, "well, my mom said-" in an argument. Because nothing is more authoritative and word-of-law/God than what the mother/friend/older sibling/dad/uncle/pet monkey of a random stranger on the internet said to you. And because you care about what they said, everyone else on the net should care.

4. Trololol Go out of your way to insult someone else and then feel a little icky at the response you get back? No fear. Just ~~mask your asshurt~~ pass yourself off as a troll.

Ex.
"Fuck, this person gets more attention than me and I don't like their work, I'll flame them and tell them it's shit!"

Mere clicks later...

"Your work is utter shit and it's fucking idiotic."

"lol don't care, faggot."

"Hahah, you fed the troll!"

~~Because god knows you can't get the attention you seek any other way~~ Also, if the person responds/defends/or makes a logical response to your ~~bullshit~~ clever maneuvers, just accuse them of being "butthurt" despite the fact you were the one who cared enough to start something in the first place over something you didn't like and because the internet is your playground where you and only you can say what you want and because you're king of the hill, you never get asshurt nevar evar.
"No U" is also a good comeback when someone accuses you of asshurt.

Ex. "So I like how you're trolling in anger despite the fact my work wasn't even directed at you or a specific person."

"Uh, NO U because you're responding to ME and that means I'M getting the reaction and I WIN I WIN I WIN IWINWINWINWIN I WIIIIINNNNN1111"

5. Only "Popular" Artists Are Dicks and Arrogant Jerkfaces Because poor little obscure "arteests" can never be arrogant or spiteful ever. _{Humph, those stupid talented animu artists with their head in the clouds getting more faves than me I'll show them...}

6. Whut Maturity If you don't like something on the net, why bother containing that inside you and waiting until you explode? In fact, why just limit it to your own account and/or personal journals? You must make it your duty and first priority as a human being to confront the other person
about how much you think they are absolute shit and should be treated as such because they draw something you don't like or have a differing opinion from you. If comments are disabled or you find yourself blocked, you must find an alternate route or anonymously troll. Why should your rights as an American be infringed? First Amendment, hoes. Not American? Or maybe the person you're talking to isn't American? Well, then fuck you, you don't matter. Also, bitching about your right to "free speech being infringed" on the net due to disabled comments or blocking preventing ~~you from making a bigger ass of yourself~~ you from expressing yourself like a free human being is totally not ironic when you also go around touting, "it's the net. I say what I want where I want even if it's someone else's page/work and if you don't like it get the fuck off."
Totally. Not. Ironic. Fuck restraint and the fact a number of people either keep to their own personal space and ignore something if they don't like it and move on. They're just weak.
Also, because the world revolves around YOU as a commenter.

7. Name-Calling Name-calling is a magical method that automatically makes the other side feel weaker and makes you look stronger. The harsher and more derogatory your slurs, the more valid your argument is and therefore the higher chance of winning you have. It's like a shoot out. The first person to throw insults has a higher chance of winning. Just like the first person who shoots has a higher chance of winning. Typing your insults in CAPS also spells "gang bangin' time" and shows you totally aren't fucking around in here. Bitches better watch out, son. That guy used the word "FAG" in all CAPS. He must be out for some killin'.
Also, some exotic weaponry one can use to further a point in an argument are, but not limited to:
fag, faggy, faggot, faggut, fagget, faggo, fagalicious, fagger, fagalaglag, faaaag, FAG, FAG, f-a-g, and Gaf. Which will confuse your opponents because it's totally "fag" backwards and they're too stupid to tell.

Also, "nigger."

8. Bitches and Dicks Saying "I'm a dick/bitch" at the beginning or end of your messages completely and automatically absolves you from taking responsibility or owning up to any of your actions. It also isn't making it look like you're saying "LOL I'm obvious" because people totally can't tell when someone's being outright jerktastic or douchebaggy to them.

Ex.
"You're a stupid fucking piece of shit because you don't agree with me, unblock/undisable me so that I may continue to act this way towards you."

"Uh, no?"

"Well, you need to hear all the jerktastic things I have to say and some people are naturally dicks/bitches and I am one of them."

Uh, ~~no fucking shit.~~ I MEAN. MY GOD. We must all see the error of our ways. How -dare- someone prevent you from being the biggest, bestest self-righteous dickhole you can be on
someone else's page.
If they refuse to give in to your repeated harassment, just call them "cowardly" and continue to note them until you get ~~banned~~ your way.

How to Comment on dAby ~In-The-Machine

Literature / Prose / Non-Fiction / General Non-Fiction / Introductions & Chapters

Prompts from ~Akillian and *linawifeofL with "flame wars on dA" and "How to Comment on Popular Articles/Deviations" with some illustrious examples.

So I tried to combine the two with throwing in a little bit extra.
A number of people threw in some pretty colorful ideas but these two stuck in my brain the most at the moment. (but the tentacle rape suggestion still sounds fun lol).

At first I tried making something like this in "comment form" like the youtube one but decided it was too soon and too similar so I changed it around to be more "How To" styled.

Edit: First off, this isn't meant to say , "lol anything but OMG UR ART IS AMAZING" is necessarily bad. But I -do- think comments like, "this is stupid, i hate it and it sucks, etc." don't really do anything for anyone and aren't entirely constructive.