I'm just going to dub it "Reverse Nice Guy Syndrome" for now because I don't know if there's a proper title for it, but I've noticed that there's a peculiar little bug that hits various people (although certainly not limited to "guys") that causes them to genuinely believe other people (or certain individuals) "owe" them attraction. In short, it's basically like "Nice Guy" syndrome in that it involves a feeling of self-entitlement, but in this case it can sometimes be a somewhat backwards attempt at empowerment in that the "syndrome" causes people to believe that if another person does not feel attracted to them, physically or otherwise, it is automatically the other person's fault entirely, and they are labelled as "shallow" (or an asshole, jerk, bitch, haughty, etc.) simply because they do not have an attraction to or possess a desire to sleep with the "deserving" individual. Like the "Nice Guy," the person always feels like they are the victim in the situation, and in many cases is not content with "just friendship." The "reverse nice person" will also often feel a sense of bitterness at a lack of perceived "owed attraction" and may take it out on others by being passive-aggressive, condescending, or accusatory. A lot of this syndrome can often stem from individuals with poor body image or internal struggles with accepting their appearance, but instead of coming to terms with the fact that many different people have different preferences and dealing with their image issues in more positive ways, they take it out on others.
And that's where I have a problem with this.
I can understand it when people struggle with weight, bad hair, certain things they don't like about their face, physical insecurities, etc. or whatever because many people go through with things like that and it's not always easy and sometimes it takes a long time for people to accept those things about themselves, but the second you cop a "get in my bed or get out of my face" attitude, my patience drastically dwindles. It may be in part due to parents or certain authority figures trying to instill a sense of self-confidence or empowerment in their kids while they're young by teaching them "if someone doesn't like you because of your weight, hair, nose, etc. or doesn't think you're pretty or handsome then those other kids can go screw themselves," but the intention may have been an -attempt- at positivity, it's warped. And the fact that some people think that they can take out their rage over unrequited attraction at others in various forms is, frankly, wrong and fucked up.
Yes, it is often wrong to treat people differently or like "lesser" human beings because of the way they look or simply because -you- don't find them attractive (ex. like how someone may be more polite and generous to a girl that's dolled up instead of one that isn't or how some people will act like normal civil human beings until some awkward-looking gangly kid with acne comes along and then the behavior turns outright sour). That's obviously wrong and unacceptable and I can understand why people would be upset over bullying or unfair treatment over appearances in those cases because it's like," okay we're gonna be normal civil human beings unless it involves a person we're not attracted to because a person deserves less of my civility if they're not good-looking to me."
But when you think people "owe" you attraction and think along the lines of, "well, if so-and-so doesn't think I'm good-looking, handsome, pretty, etc. and they don't want to date me then fuck them they are an asshole." Or, hell, just even the mentality of, "if someone doesn't think I'm attractive or isn't attracted to me then they're shallow and can go fuck themselves," even when the person has never had a history of treating you poorly due to your appearance, is highly problematic.
That's the biggest thing that bothers me about this mentality. Look, I really don't care if you're the most confident person in the world or the meekest person in the world, if you think people automatically owe you their attraction or should possess an innate desire to sleep with you or be with you, you're delusional and self-entitled. Period. You can throw endless tirades and fits about how people who aren't attracted to you or your body/appearance are automatically "shallow" or "assholes" or "aren't worth your time," but I reckon that will just want to make them be with you less. It also makes you look like brat with a huge complex and sense of self-entitlement. In the real world, people aren't going to magically and automatically switch their personal preferences and desires around because -you- think they owe it to you to do so.
Whenever I see stuff like:
"that guy chose some skinny girl over me what a fucking shallow piece of shit how DARE he go for that stick-thin skank i could so do so much better guess he doesn't want a REAL girl fuck both those assholes what a shallow dickhead"
"goddamnit she went for that bigger hulking guy i cant fucking believe this i guess girls like her really are all shallow whores who cant recognize a decent normal man when they see one guess she doesnt dig guys that are down-to-earth like me i guess that cunt doesnt have taste"
It makes it...infinitely harder to be sympathetic towards someone with that mentality in any. Like...infinitely harder. Especially when the "reverse nice" person then finds it acceptable to keep making advances on the person that said "no" in the first place and attempts to "guilt" them into being attracted to them. As someone who has had somewhat similar experience with these kids of people as well as friends who dealt with these people on an almost 'stalker'/harassment level, I'm a lot more likely to become aggressive towards you than sympathetic if your "oh woe is me" fuckfaced behavior continues and escalates to something higher. For example, as someone with a skinnier body, I've had some people exude this mentality that if skinny people weren't automatically attracted to a "bigger" person (oddly this "bigger" person would always be the same individual bringing it up) that it makes them automatically "shallow" (despite the fact that, preference-wise, there are times when you can find some people of a certain body type attractive while another person with a very similar body type not-so-attractive, same can be applied to bigger or smaller people, although this doesn't have to be limited to weight and can be applied to other aspects of appearances) Likewise, I notice people with those expectations often cop the same "woe is me i guess your just SHALLOW for not going out with me or thinking that I'm hot" mentality, when having a personality like that and being vocal about how you think people need to "want me or fuck you get out of my face" mentality is just a massive repellant for people who don't appreciate attempts at "guilting" or passive aggression (or plain outright aggression) just because you think people owe you their attraction. It's childish and it's delusional. And at best it makes you look like a spoiled brat while at worst it makes you look like an angry, hostile pressuring bully.
Same thing when some people have certain people express attraction to them after they change something about their appearances. I know the thought process behind it is "well if they really like me for who i am they'd wanted to have gone out with me before i lost weight/cut my hair/shaved/etc." but the same sort of idea can also apply. People have different attractions. I know there were times in the past when I didn't feel attracted to someone until they got a haircut or grew it out or lost or gained weight, but while that didn't necessarily mean I wanted to go out with them or be with them, I can't help what I'm attracted to and I can't say that I necessarily feel bad about it either. If it were a case of, "i was treated like dirt until i put on makeup and did my hair a certain way" or "these people used to treat me like shit and make fun of me until i hit the gym and got toned and now they talk nice to me" or whatever, I could see the frustration on some level because that involves others being nice and civil to a person based on appearances. Then there are cases where it's less about common civility and more about people being upset over the fact that others didn't express attraction or romantic interest until they lost a bunch of pounds or used to look look a homeless person with extra miles of hair and then 'cleaned up' and started noticing people coming on to them, but again, different people are going to be attracted to different things. Some might come onto one type of appearance, while others might find another kind attractive. It's always going to depend for different people, but people don't owe you unconditional attraction.