Gen 10

The two men in lab coats strolled down the long tiled hallway. One continued to make notes while the other stared down his nose at the newest batch.

"Professor Redwood, this is what we have so far on Generation ten. After many long years of turmoil, sweat, and blood, it has finally come to fruition. Sir,-"
the man motioned to the many containment units that lined the room. "-we've finally reached one thousand."

Redwood nodded, his face stoic. "Do you remember when they told us we'd never come this far? That we'd never make it?" He took a breath. "That after the fifth, we'd lost our touch. That we'd fall apart. That we'd never be the same as before."

"Indeed, sir. I remember all too well."

"They spat on us."

"It no longer matters, sir. We've made it this far...we've proved them wrong."

For a moment, the two men said nothing. They merely stared unblinkingly ahead at their life's work, all neatly packed into their little containment units...so small....so fragile...

So powerful.

Professor Redwood took another breath. "Now show me," his commanding voice pierced the cold silent of the lab. "Show me the fruition of our work."

His assistant took the first containment unit, a small, red and white ball, and gently tossed it. A glowing white aura suddenly appeared, gradually filling the room with its light.

This is it, thought the professor. With this I will finally see the results of many seasons spent in labor have brought us. My research team, the scientific community, the world...all will finally see that we could make it possible. Hard work, effort, training, all of this in addition to the strength of my will and that of my grandfather, our research will not be in-"what the hell is that?"

The round, goggle-eyed little...something stared up at the professor.

"Sir, it's one of the starters of the tenth generation."

Redwood stared long and hard at the...the...the thing before turning back to his assistant and
asking, "what...kind of species?"

"It's a...a...let me see here, sir-" the assistant flipped back through several pages of notes, "-a squid, frog, leopard pokemon, sir."

"....I see absolutely no resemblance to a leopard in this thing. None whatsoever."

"To be fair sir, the pokemon Zangoose doesn't truly resemble a 'cat ferret' and yet-"

"None. Whatsoever."

The assistant eyed the squid, frog, leopard pokemon nervously and then looked back to the professor. "Well...the info was taken directly from the Dex...sir..."

"....and that smell. You're not actually -thinking- of lending this out to ten-year-olds all around the globe for free, are you? You want to get sued? What, what is this thing -called- anyway?" Redwood raised an eyebrow.

"Uh...it's called....uh......Blurp, sir."

The room was silent as the two men stared at each other in awkward silence. The word seemed to hang in the air like a bad stench. Rather, a second bad stench.

"It's called Blurp?" If the professor's eyebrow could have risen any higher, it would have skyrocketed off of his face and ricocheted off the walls of the room.

The assistant began to fumble under his superior's gaze. "Well, uh, no, sir. Like many of the others before it, it is so named because of the sound it-"

"Bloorp," bloorped the odd-looking, odd-smelling pokemon.

"...are you sure that was a -blurp- you heard?"

"...maybe...sir."

"It sounded more like a bloorp to me."

"Blaaarrrppp," went the odd, wet stinking supposedly part-leopard pokemon. A thin string of drool had been gradually dribbling down the side of its mouth...nostril....eye...whatever part of it that it was supposed to be, during the course of the conversation, forming a small pool of saliva at the creature's base. The wet smell was as strong as ever.

Redwood sighed and adjusted his glasses. "Fine. Just...just...call it back, will you?"

The assistant was all too happy to oblige. He took the small red and white sphere in his hands and in a matter of seconds and a flash of light, the offending creature had gone from the room, leaving a small puddle of wetness where the Blurp once was.

The professor stepped carefully around it. "We'll get one of the former Team Aqua grunts on the cleaning crew to clean that up. Lord knows it's one of the only jobs those uneducated gangbangers can hold after the whole failed flood-whole-world-with-oversized-blimp-animal fiasco. Show me the next one."

The assistant took another unit. A bright light once again filled the room.
A small reddish creature now stared up at the two scientists.

Redwood's eyes widened far more than an average human being's should have. "Is...is that thing's foot where it's left eye should be?"

The assistant gulped and fingered his collar. "Sir....funny story. Remember those pokemon daycares of days gone by...you know, the ones that if you let two pokemon alone enough and they -loved- each other enough...."

"Are you telling me this is the product of two completely different species of pokemon?" Redwood snapped.

"Well...uh...it's...certainly has a....unique makeup, sir." The assistant fiddled with his notes nervously.

"No kidding," Redwood growled, biting back his more primal feelings of rage. "Is this some sort of bizarre species of torchic? Or maybe some fire bird pokemon? Something I don't know about?"

The assistant took a quick breath and began to talk very quickly. "Sir, you see, at the time the development on this particular species began, funding was a bit low and some cuts had to be made...even daycare was expensive then for us, sacrificesneededtobemadeandandand, well, youseesir, weonlyhadmaybeafewtosparewiththat p-p-particular brand o-of r-r-reasearch and and a-"

"JUST SPIT IT OUT ALREADY!"

The assistant, faced with his superior's wrath, began to sweat. He tried to continue on as best he could without stumbling.
"Sir, we had only two at the time. A female blaziken and a ditto. The ditto eventually needed to be taken
to another branch of research and was removed from the daycare, but not before it produced a son with the blaziken."

"Isn't that natural?"

"Sir..."

Redwood could clearly tell the man was afraid to continue. The armpits of the man's lab coat were coated with sweat. "Finish," he commanded sternly.

"It was the only one we had at the time for that particular section and the other shipments of pokemon were delayed due to lack of funding, like I said....we thought it would be okay...we thought...if we just...stuff like this happens in the wild all the time and...."

"Spit. It. Out."

_{"...we bred the mother with the son..."}

Redwood's mouth dropped.

_{"...and then we bred the grandson with the grandmother..."}

Redwood's mouth dropped farther.

_{"...and then we kept doing it until....we had this entire family....of...uh..."}

The professor's brain was having a significant amount of difficulty processing the other man's words.
"That. Does. Not. Occur. In. Nature."

The assistant ashamedly looked down at his feet.

The red bird suddenly creature threw up a little, a sticky yellow paste suddenly coating the front of its feathers. It's foot-eye appendage made a weird scrabbling sound as the eye-toes wiggled madly, overgrown talons clacking against one another. It wobbled several steps before falling down, its sadly deformed face kept from hitting the lab floor only by the claw appendage that sprouted from where it's left eye should have been. The talons continued to scrabble madly against the tile, making a soft scraping sound.

"Do you know how I know this doesn't occur in nature? Because nature would -never-, ever allow something this unforgivably hideous to have been birthed in the first place. Only humans could spit out something this pathetically inhumane. Take it from someone who worked on the Mewthree project. Leave it at that." Redwood let out a long breath."...and what do you call this?"

"Asdfghfff!"

Redwood jumped back at the creature's sudden outburst. He gazed upon the thing as its 'good' right eye began to blink rapidly and its feathers began to puff out in large clumps. "WHAT TH-"

"ASDFGHFFFF!" squawked the creature more loudly, cutting him off. More yellow bile began to dribble from its open beak as the right eye continued to blink at astounding speeds.

Horrified at the sight of such a manner of living deformity, Redwood backed away quickly and stood behind his subordinate. "W-what w-w-w-what is t-that t-th-thing?"

Inwardly brightening at the prospect of being the brave one in this situation, the assistant suddenly regained his composure and, hiding a smile, said cooly, "it's calledAsdfghf, sir. But for short we sometimes call it Bibbles for the fact he has a habit of just bibbling"- here the assistant wiggled his fingers -"all over himself."

Redwood's head snapped up from behind his assistant, eyes narrow, back to reality. "That's it. Don't even bother showing me the grass starter. If the first two are this fucking -inbred-, then don't even -think- about showing me the grass type. Grass types already suck enough as it is. Christ, a type with more type weaknesses than strengths, it's already a shitty pokemon species without humans doing more damage to it. Come, show me the later batches. Please."

The assistant and he quickly retreated down another hallway to another room filled with similar containment units as the previous one. "Sir," said the assistant brightly as he went to a special glass case on the wall and removed a special unit, "if you were disappointed by the last batch-"

"Disappointed doesn't begin to describe it."

"-then I'm sure you'll love this," he continued. The familiar light appeared. "Sir, I present to you-"

A shrill gahgaa could be heard resounding through the room.

"-the Jiggly Puff 2.0. Or, rather, going by the Dex name, the Gawga pokemon. Think of it as a sort of spiritual successor to the Jigglypuff. But a bit more flamboyant."

"Rahrah," squeaked the blond creature.

"Ah, now we're getting somewhere. It sings just as well if not better than its spiritual predecessor, am I correct?"

"Romamaah," continued the Gawga.

"Indeed, sir. Quite well. But the only shortfalls is that it doesn't do very well in the attack department. The best it can hope for is singing the enemy to sleep. Except, unlike Jigglypuff, this pokemon does a poor job of putting opponents to sleep. Instead, it's special ability, Attention Hogger, seems to keep them well awake, often bringing as much attention as it possibly can onto itself. Other than that..."

"Ohlala," said the Gawga.

"It really just stands around looking rather cute, sir, if I may say so myself."

"I see...and what with all the odd noises it makes?"

"Our technology still hasn't been able to make heads or tails of its speech patterns. But it time we may just be able to decipher it. At some point. For now, we can only assume that it just enjoys the sound of its own voice."

"Gahgaww."

"Hmm...not nearly as bad as the first two but...it could be a lot better."

"I see, sir." Another flash of light and the Gawga had returned to the small capsule.

"Don't misunderstand, it wasn't horrid, that one. But certainly you could show me something...better?"

"One more, sir. One more."

The assistant opened another case and activated a small purple-topped ball with a white "M" engraved onto the lid. The assistant once again threw the ball and the room filled with a gold light.

The professor stopped dead. "It...looks exactly like pikachu. The infamous electric rat from the first generation. The color scheme is remarkable similar yet I somehow can't seem to shake what seems a bit off about it." He leaned closer to the pokemon and adjusted his glasses.

"We made a few adjustments, sir. Notice the longer snout, the quills, the longer legs. It allows for faster running, sir."

"Why is this pokemon wearing shoes?"

"Some of the staff members thought it looked cute, sir. Other than that, I have no idea."

Redwood stepped back. "I'm deciding that it's hideous."

"But, sir! We can't just give up on the new generation! We've only just begun-"

"That's exactly why I'm shutting it down. Before it gets out of hand. These pokemon....are so damned hideous and so damned....Bibbly, Blurp, Retardchu-"

"Actually, it's called a Sonich-"

"I don't care. The bottom line is, the starters are inbred-"

"One of them-"

"-some of the species make no fucking sense nor seem to even have the slightest basis in any remotely real-world recognizable animal. Some of them look -exactly- the same as the old ones,
and every other so-called 'legendary' looks like a fucking armored cyborg."

"It seemed a pretty badass idea at the ti-"

"Every. Other. One. Let me tell you something. Something important.
Team Rocket wouldn't  steal these pokemon.
Team Magma wouldn't steal these pokemon.  
Team Snagem wouldn't go out of their way to "snag" these travesties.
These pokemon are so bad that not even Team Edward or Jacob would want to steal them."

Defeated, the assistant asked quietly, "so then what do we do now, sir?"

"...take the money accumulated from the past nine generations and work with the Digimon people."



The End.